Listosaurus Rex

In November 2003, Rolling Stone magazine ranked the greatest albums of all time and extended its list out to a whopping 500.  Here are the top 20:

1. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, The Beatles
2. Pet Sounds, The Beach Boys
3. Revolver, The Beatles
4. Highway 61 Revisited, Bob Dylan
5. Rubber Soul, The Beatles
6. What’s Going On, Marvin Gaye
7. Exile on Main Street, The Rolling Stones
8. London Calling, The Clash
9. Blonde on Blonde, Bob Dylan
10. The Beatles (”The White Album”), The Beatles
11. The Sun Sessions, Elvis Presley
12. Kind of Blue, Miles Davis
13. Velvet Underground and Nico, The Velvet Underground
14. Abbey Road, The Beatles
15. Are You Experienced?, The Jimi Hendrix Experience
16. Blood on the Tracks, Bob Dylan
17. Nevermind, Nirvana
18. Born to Run, Bruce Springsteen
19. Astral Weeks, Van Morrison
20. Thriller, Michael Jackson

The list is pretty widely criticized by readers, and I think a few of the common complaints are founded.  One is that the list is very heavily American.  Though the top 20 is pretty balanced between British and American bands, there is a steady dropoff on British rock as the list goes on.

Pink Floyd, and most anything progressive, is given the shaft on the list while punk seems to reign supreme. I’m not a big fan of most prog rock, and not very educated on the genre, so I’m not going to stick up for it too much.

Odd is the treatment of jazz on the list.  There are only a few albums on the list.  A bit Miles, a bit Coltrane, but not much beyond that.  Jazz is a segment of music as deep as rock and roll is, so it might’ve been more appropriate to either cut out jazz albums or devote more of the list to it.

Another thing I want to talk briefly about is Beatles albums.  I believe that Revolver would have been the number one on the list if it had been made a few years later.  Revolver is now a little bit more “in style” while people are slightly more down on Sgt. Pepper’s.  

In my mind, though Rubber Soul tops them both.  There is no album whose musical achievments I respect more than Rubber Soul.

I’d also like to say that The White Album is WAY too high up on the list.  It’s too unfocused and gimmicky, even though it’s got some real stunners on there.  For all the Beatles love on the list, Help! is far too low (#332).  The album is significantly more enjoyable overall, in my opinion, The White Album (#10), Please Please Me (#39), and Let It Be (#86).  With essentially every other Beatles album on the list, it’s a complete joke that Magical Mystery Tour isn’t honored.

I have my nitpicks with the list, but nothing overall to keep me from recommending it.  Nobody’s ever going to completely agree on what the best albums are, but Rolling Stone proposes a pretty good choices.

The best part about the list?  It’s got little articles about each one of the  albums.  You could be reading this for days and not get through everything.  It’s very anecdotal and informative, a good read.  I’ve been working on it for months and still haven’t gotten all the way to the end.

Perhaps the best way to view the list, then, is not an authoritative ranking of the best albums, but an overview of 500 great albums, replete with intersting stories and solid writing.  Take a look.

Time Magazine has outdone itself and brought you a whopping FIFTY top ten lists to recap 2008.  Wowza.

Here are topics covered:

Albums

Animal Stories

Awkward Moments

Best Biz Deals

Best Performances

Breakups

Buzzwords

Campaign Gaffes

Campaign Video Moments

Children’s Books

Crime Stories

Editorial Cartoons

Election Photos

Fashion Moments

Fashion Faux Pas

Fiction Books

Financial Collapses

Fleeting Celebrities

Food Trends

Gadgets

Green Ideas

iPhone Apps

Late Night Jokes

Magazine Covers

Medical Breakthroughs

Movies

Museum Exhibits

News Stories

Non-fiction Books

Oddball News Stories

Olympic Moments

Open Mike Moments

Outrageous Earmarks

Photos

Plays and Musicals

Political Lines

Quotes

Religion Stories

Scandals

Scientific Discoveries

Songs

Sports Moments

T-shirt Worthy Slogans

TV Ads

TV Episodes

TV Series

Underreported Stories

Video Games

Viral Videos

Worst Biz Deals

Each one of the ten entries for each of these fifty categories has a little paragraph or two to accompany it.

This is almost bewildering for me.  It’s just about too much to process.  Of course, I devoured the ones important to me (Albums, Movies, TV Series, Video Games, Sports Moments, etc.), but most I only had time to give a cursory glance.  It doesn’t help that you have to click through to a new page for each item of each list.  I wouldn’t mind having a few of these lists scrapped and had a new and improved interface implemented.

 Top 10 Outrageous Earmarks?  Top 10 Breakups?  I dunno if these should be mixed in with the big hitters.  But, hey, if a magazine is going to go all-out on something, at least it’s something easy to read, organized, and logical, like lists!

Overall, though, I would NOT recommend this list set for two reasons: 1) Dark Knight not mentioned as one of the top 10 movies of the year. 2) The Office not mentioned as one of the top 10 TV shows of the year. WTF!?!

Just kidding, these are definitely worth a look.  Pick out the ones that look most interesting you and you’ll probably get a lot out of it.

This list of the most memorable TV moments was determined by TV Guide and TV Land in 2004. It initially appeared as a TV special a few years back. Here is the complete 100.

1. September 11 Terrorist Attacks (9/11/01)
2. One Small Step for Man (7/20/69)
3. The Challenger Disaster (1/28/86)
4. I Have a Dream (8/28/63)
5. The Beatles Debut in America (2/9/64)
   “The Ed Sullivan Show”
6. John-John’s Salute (11/25/63)
7. The Whipping of Kunte Kinte (1/24/77)
   “Roots”
8. The M*A*S*H Finale (2/28/83)
   “M*A*S*H”
9. Lucy at the Candy Factory (9/15/52)
   “I Love Lucy”
10. Who Shot J.R.? (3/21/80)
    “Dallas”
11. The O.J. Simpson Verdict (10/3/95)
12. The O.J. Simpson Chase (6/17/94)
13. Tiananmen Square: Man vs. Tank (6/5/89)
14. Ruby Shoots Oswald (11/24/63)
15. The Bombing of Baghdad (1/16/91)
16. The Royal Wedding (7/29/81)
17. The Death of Dale Earnhardt (2/18/01)
18. Sammy Kisses Archie (2/19/72)
    “All in the Family”
19. The President Denies an Affair (1/26/98)
20. The Contest (11/18/92)
    “Seinfeld”
21. The Miracle on Ice (2/22/80)
    “1980 Winter Olympics”
22. The Fugitive Finale (8/29/67)
    “The Fugitive”
23. Princess Diana’s Funeral (9/6/97)
24. Newhart’s Final Surprise (5/21/90)
    “Newhart”
25. Bookworm in The Twilight Zone (11/20/59)
    “The Twilight Zone”
26. Edith Talks Back (1/8/72)
    “All in the Family”
27. Michael Jackson’s moonwalk (5/16/83)
    “Motown 25: Yesterday, Today, Forever”
28. Olympic Tragedy in Munich (9/5/72)
29. Nixon Waves Farewell (8/9/74)
30. Eddie Murphy Does James Brown (11/5/83)
    “Saturday Night Live”
31. 60 Minutes with Ayatollah Khomeini (11/18/79)
    “60 Minutes”
32. Saving Baby Jessica (10/16/87)
33. Nadia’s Perfect 10 (7/18/76)
    “1976 Summer Olympics”
34. Hank Aaron Breaks Ruth’s Record (4/8/74)
35. Luke & Laura’s Wedding (11/17/81)
    “General Hospital”
36. Tony’s College Killing (2/7/99)
    “The Sopranos”
37. Clinton Plays the Sax (6/3/92)
    “The Arsenio Hall Show”
38. The Wardrobe Malfunction (2/1/04)
    “Super Bowl XXXVIII”
39. Have You No Sense of Decency? (6/9/54)
40. The Death of Henry Blake (3/18/75)
    “M*A*S*H”
41. Bette’s Farewell to Johnny (5/21/92)
    “The Tonight Show”
42. The Fall of Saigon (4/29/75)
43. Ellen Comes Out (4/30/97)
    “Ellen”
44. The Kennedy-Nixon Debate (9/26/60)
45. Picard Goes Borg (6/18/90)
    “Star Trek: The Next Generation”
46. Mark McGwire Hits #62 (9/8/98)
    “St. Louis Cardinals vs. Chicago Cubs”
47. Curtains for Carol Burnett (11/13/76)
    “The Carol Burnett Show”
48. Sam & Diane’s First Kiss (3/31/83)
    “Cheers”
49. Brandi’s World Cup Strip (7/10/99)
    “FIFA Women’s World Cup Finals 1999″
50. Brody Kisses Berry (3/23/03)
    “The 75th Anniversary Academy Awards”
51. The Oscar Streaker (4/2/74)
52. Sullivan Censors Elvis (1/6/57)
    “The Ed Sullivan Show”
53. Susan Hawk: Snake and Rats (8/23/00)
    “Survivor”
54. The Battle of the Sexes (9/20/73)
55. Gold Medals: Black Power (10/16/68)
    “1968 Summer Olympics”
56. A Charlie Brown Christmas (12/9/65)
    “A Charlie Brown Christmas”
57. Bill Buckner’s Error (10/25/86)
    “1986 World Series: New York Mets vs. Boston Red Sox, Game 6″
58. Oliver North Gets Sworn In (7/7/87)
59. Lucy Goes to the Hospital (1/19/53)
    “I Love Lucy”
60. Death of Chuckles the Clown (10/25/75)
    “The Mary Tyler Moore Show”
61. Jordan’s Last Championship Shot (6/14/98)
    “1998 NBA Championship: Chicago Bulls vs. Utah Jazz, Game 6″
62. America Held Hostage (11/29/79)
    “Nightline”
63. Elvis’ ‘68 Comeback Special (12/3/68)
    “Elvis Presley’s ‘68 Comeback Special”
64. The Rumble in the Jungle (10/30/68)
    “Muhammad Ali vs. George Foreman”
65. Kirk Kisses Uhura (11/22/68)
    “Star Trek”
66. Ross & Rachel’s First Kiss (11/9/95)
    “Friends”
67. Letterman’s Velcro Suit (2/28/84)
    “Late Night with David Letterman”
68. Tim Russert Tallies the Vote (11/7/00)
    “Decision 2000″
69. Belushi’s Samurai Deli (1/17/76)
    “Saturday Night Live”
70. The Cosby Show Debuts (9/20/84)
    “The Cosby Show”
71. An American Family: the Louds (3/8/73)
    “An American Family”
72. Hill and Renko Gunned Down (1/15/81)
    “Hill Street Blues”
73. The First Millionaire (11/19/99)
    “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?”
74. Al Capone’s Vault (4/21/86)
    “The Mystery of Al Capone’s Vault”
75. NYPD Nude (9/21/93)
    “NYPD Blues”
76. Alexis & Krystle: Wet & Wild (4/13/83)
    “Dynasty”
77. Schweddy Ball (12/12/98)
    “Saturday Night Live”
78. Nixon Asks, “Sock it to me?” (9/16/68)
    “Laugh-In”
79. Kerri Strug’s Golden Vault (7/23/96)
    “1996 Summer Olympics”
80. Idol Final: Clay vs. Ruben (5/21/03)
    “American Idol”
81. Rosalind Gets the Shaft (2/21/91)
    “L.A. Law”
82. Florida’s Husband Dies (9/29/76)
    “Good Times”
83. Andy Kauffman’s Smackdown (7/28/82)
    “Late Night with David Letterman”
84. The Day After (11/20/83)
    “The Day After”
85. Gary’s Sudden Death (2/12/91)
    “thirysomething”
86. John Dean Testifies (6/25/73)
87. Hugh Grant and Jay Leno (7/10/95)
    “The Tonight Show”
88. The Saving Heart (11/16/83)
    “St. Elsewhere”
89. Rather Gets Roughed Up (8/27/68)
    “The 1968 Democratic Convention”
90. That’s My Boy? (9/25/63)
    “Dick Van Dyke Show”
91. Kramden’s $99,000 Answer (1/28/58)
    “The Honeymooners”
92. Laettner’s Buzzer Beater (3/28/92)
93. Sinead Rips the Pope (10/3/92)
    “Saturday Night Live”
94. Peter Pan Flies (3/7/55)
95. Clarabell Speaks (9/24/60)
    “The Howdy Doody Show”
96. Sam Gets Fired (1/21/04)
    “The Apprentice”
97. Puck Gets the Boot (9/2/94)
    “The Real World: San Francisco”
98. Marcia Brady’s Broken Nose (2/9/73)
    “The Brady Bunch”
99. Brenda & Dylan Do It (5/2/91)
    “Beverly Hills, 90210″
100. Miami Vice Debuts (9/16/84)
     “Miami Vice”

It’s an impressive list. There are a few items — such as #96, the Apprentice and maybe something from Survivor in 2000 — that probably wouldn’t have made the list had it been made more recently, but I still think it stands as a fantastic memoir of unforgettable moments from the first seventy-ish years of television.

One controversy that came about from this list was whether 9/11 really was more memorable than man landing on the moon. However, TV Guide and TV Land put a disclaimer at the very end of the show saying they believe hundreds of years from now, the landing on the moon will be considered a more important event in human history, but that they believe 9/11 was more memorable as a TV event.

Of these 100 moments, I only saw seven live. Several others I’ve seen reruns or clips separate from the show. Then, when I saw the specials revealing the moments, I watched clips from just about every one.

I’m a bit disappointed that no moment from the Simpsons was included, and as a sport aficionado, I wish more sports events had been included. But, overall, I don’t think they left too much out.

I can’t help but wonder what events since mid-2004 would be included on the list if it were re-made today.

As far as sports go, certainly the Red Sox’ amazing comeback against the Yankees to enter the 2004 World Series would be on the list.  I also think Boise State’s Statue of Liberty should be a lock, as I’ll never forget it.  A few other personally memorable moments since then are Notre Dame losing to USC 34-31 in October 2005, the Redskins comeback to beat the Cowboys 14-13 in September 2005, and Tiger Woods’ amazing shot at the 14th hole of the Masters, but I understand those probably wouldn’t stand a chance.

For news and history, definitely Hurricane Katrina and probably the tsunami of 2004.  I’m sure something involving Obama and Clinton would end up there, and maybe something from the War in Iraq.

And for entertainment television, I think something from Ken Jennings miraculous run on Jeopardy would deserve a spot.  The finale of The Sopranos and Friends were both quite memorable, and I think Pam and Jim’s kiss from the end of the show’s second season deserves a spot on there.

What moments would you like to have seen included?  What do you think that’s happened since mid-2004 that would be included today?

Note: I transcribed the list from TVLand.com. The site claims to have some videos of these events, but none of the links worked. That may just be my computer not working properly, though, I don’t know. Either way, clips from many of these can just as easily be found on YouTube.

I’m a list fiend, but even I draw the line sometimes. For example, ranking the one hundred most important people. Ever. Has there ever been a more brazen call for controversy?

Michael H. Hart is a bolder man than I, and developed this list in book form, available on Amazon, “A ranking of the most influential persons in history,” it’s subtitled. Here is the top fifteen:

1. Muhammad
2. Isaac Newton
3. Jesus
4. Buddha
5. Confucius
6. St. Paul
7. Ts’ai Lun
8. Johannes Gutenberg
9. Christopher Columbus
10. Albert Einstein

Some perusal of the Internet reveals that the biggest controversy of this top fifteen is whether Muhammad or Jesus deserves to be number one. I suppose if you’re Christian it’s hard to see anyone other than Jesus at number one because, you know, he’s the key to eternal life.

Hart argues that Jesus founded his religion, leaving only a small circle of disciples, whereas Muhammad founded a religion, spread it, was a public figure for many decades, and died with millions of followers.

Hart adds, though, that Christianity is a more widespread and influential religion than Islam, and is quick to point out that St. Paul, the main spark in the international spread of Christianity, is also in the top ten.

Isaac Newton essentially invented mechanics, the backbone of physics, and co-invented calculus. I remember learning about him in physics class and thinking to myself, “Holy crap, what did this guy not invent?” I was honestly not too shocked to see him so high.

Rounding out the top four is another important religious founder, The Buddha. At number five is philosopher Confucius, best known for developing a myriad of beliefs about morality and ethics. He was long considered the most quotable man in history until Oscar Wilde stole the title before Mark Twain finally snatched it and holds it still today.

This Hart character clearly thinks very highly of paper, as he has the inventor of paper and the inventor of the movable type at numbers seven and eight.

Christopher Columbus started the movement of colonization of the Americas, and also established the unfortunate precedent of mistreating Native Americans.

The most recent man in the top ten is Albert Einstein, who was also Time Magazine’s Man of the Century. Einstein redefined what humanity understood about the relationship between time, mass, and motion, and also redefined humanity’s stereotypes of smart people. In fact, “Einstein” is now a term that fourth grade bullies call kids who get A’s on their math tests.

If you want to see the rest of Hart’s top 100, you can check out this site, which also breaks down in more depth some of the religious issues.

This list is very thought-provoking, but it’s so political and personal that I think it’s more contrversy than it’s worth. But, hey, it could be worse. At least Paris Hilton isn’t included.

Modern cinema was born in 1927, rock and roll in the early 1950’s, video games in the late 1970’s. Each of these artistic mediums are presented in scopes that can easily be perceived. scrutinized, and contained. Thus, they are topics which it’s pretty easy to construct a list around. It’s reasonable for a film critic to have seen most major pieces of film, for rock aficiando to understand the importance of both Chuck Berry and The Red Hot Chili Peppers, and for modern gaming magazine editors to know that Geometry Wars is just a souped version of Robotron 2084.

Other artistic mediums do not have this condition. Even art museum curators with doctorates in art history can only have a small grasp at the significance of each member of the wide spectrum of visual art over the past dozen-plus millennia. Likewise, literature professors at Oxford can only guess the importance of something like the Ramayana compared to something like Huckleberry Finn or something by Faulkner. It’s not any insult to those experts when I make those statements, but rather a statement about the broad, multi-era history of the mediums. You can’t fully grasp the immediate power of art unless you are around in the era it is produced, it’s just not possible.

All of that being said, there are a few novels and books that are widely praised as some of the Best Ever. Anna Karenina, Lolita, In Search of Lost Time, etc. These are the books that middle school English teachers effuse about with a hint of romance in their voice, the books that deans of prestigious liberal arts display on their fireplace mantle, and famous authors cite as their inspirations for getting into the literature business.

If literature scholars are allowed to have favorites like those, which they are, why can’t they have second-favorites? Third-favorites? How about, all the way down to tenth-favorites? And just like that, a top ten list is constructed, as vulgar and suppressive to the vast scope of literature as that seems.

J. Peder Zane has talked to 125 famous authors, convinced them to construct Top Ten favorite pieces of literature lists, and combined the lists into one ultimate, authoritative ranking of the Top Ten greatest pieces of literature, according to writers worldwide. He released his findings in a book that can be bought on Amazon.

Without further ado, here are the ten greatest books of all time. I feel ridiculous just saying that.

1. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
2. Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
3. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
4. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
6. Hamlet by William Shakespeare
7. The Great Gatsby F. Scott Fitzgerald
8. In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust
9. The Stories of Anton Chekhov by Anton Chekhov
10. Middlemarch by George Eliot

Nothing Earth-shattering or blasphemous there. In fact, I think it’s about as safe a top ten as you could have. How many have you read? I am totally embarrassed by my number, so I won’t tell you what it is. But here’s a hint: you can count it on three fingers.

Props to Leo Tolstoy for nabbing two of the top three slots on this uber-selective list.

For more commentary on this list and this book, check out this great article from Time magazine. Columnist Lev Grossman shares my hesitation in listifying literature (”There’s something unseemly and promiscuous about all those letters and numbers jumbled together”) and provides some interesting insight.

Maybe some boring, rainy day, I’ll buy this book from Borders just so I can remind myself how little classic literature I’ve actually read. In the mean time, I’ll stick with my Dave Barry booger jokes, thank you very much.